The Retreat, Spruce Point, Boothbay, Maine

The Retreat is a tiny little house (about as big as a house boat) that is for rent on Spruce Point by the night. Tim and I stayed there for our anniversary a couple years ago and I for one can’t wait to go back. The house is very private, and the vista is all rocks and ocean. Feels like the Maine version of Carmel. Ever since we stayed there my favorite mental game is ‘What would I take with me if we were going to move into The Retreat’. What would make the cut? The books? The photography collection? The prayer bead collection? The rock collection? The sand collection? Mildly disturbing, when most of your things have the word ‘collection’ attached.

Bethlehem

What rough beast…………………………..

Sicily, Italy

The old country. My stepfather told us how his father had been discovered abandoned on a Sicilian beach. He was taken in by the nuns and they in turn named him John Pio, pio meaning orphan in Sicilian (mean spirited or just dimwitted?) Needless to say he always hated the name, later changing it to Cantizaro. When he had a falling out with the Cantizaro family (Italian’s always have fallings out), he changed it to Proyetto. In the service the paymaster couldn’t pronounce Proyetto and it was changed to Procetto. Later when my stepfather got into show business it was changed yet again to Milano.

Saratoga, New York

Drank the water.

Revere Beach, Revere Massachusetts (gone now)

When we were kids, my stepsisters Marianne, Paula and I used to go to Revere Beach, ride the Dodgems and get Kelly’s Roast Beef sandwiches. Paula, so skinny she could fit through a keyhole, always insisted on wolfing down two. There was an amusement park there and the whole place had a ‘moth to the flame’ trailer park charm.

Christine might move to Utah, Coral Sand Dunes, Utah

My friend Christine and her husband Meat (short for Miedema) lived in the woods. I don’t know why but they preferred outdoor plumbing, candlelight, and being off the grid. In order to visit you had to park two miles away and walk in, snowshoe in, ATV in, snowmobile in…………you get the picture. When Christine turned 62 she started considering the possibility that at some point they were going to have to give up the good life and perhaps move to an easier life close to her son and granddaughter in Utah. Hard to imagine Christine and all those Latter Day Saints, but hey. When her sister passed away, Christine gave in to her inner yuppie and got a Blackberry, new teeth, a flat screen TV and even managed to drag the Direct TV installer into the woods. All of a sudden the woods came complete with a composting toilet and looked more like easy street. This sand came from one of Christine’s many trips to Utah to visit Chris and Kiley. R.I.P. Christine Miedema.

Alan Walsh’s Beach, Marshfield, Massachusetts

Alan Walsh worked with my dad at Blue Cross/Blue Shield for as long as I can remember. He was the only one of my dad’s friends or associates that could put up with him for very long in good cheer and I always loved him for that. He and his big happy family had bought their beach house as an investment to sell when the kids went to college. The problem with the plan was that everyone loved the house and didn’t want to let it go. I don’t know who had to take one for the team and go to community college but they still have the house.

Greyhound Bus Station, St James Street, Boston (gone now)

Every weekend I used to take a Greyhound bus from Danvers, to Boston, change buses in the old bus station on St. James and take a P&B bus from there to Hanover. I can’t remember exactly when these trips started; I’m thinking around 8 or 9. In the early 70’s there were no Homeland Security color coded warnings, only announcements over the bus station loudspeaker every ten minutes warning of pickpockets, pervs and prostitutes. I thought I was a bicoastal celebrity.

Wingersheek Beach, Gloucester, Massachusetts

We had a crazy neighbor with 15 kids who was a religious nut. It didn’t take much in the way of stress for her to feel the need to pack a bunch of us into the Lincoln Continental, shower us in holy water and drive down by Wingersheek to see crackpot religious films. Our favorite was the 3 girls in Fatima falling to their knees with visions of the Virgin Mary. When we had nothing else to do, Marianne, Paula and I would practice falling violently to our knees to see if we could whip up a religious fervor.

Auntie’s House, Brant Rock, Massachusetts

My sister Tracy used to have a big old beach house on Brant Rock in Marshfield, Massachusetts. It was magical. When my sister and her husband were expecting their first child, they sold the house and moved inland, away from the threat of storms. Pussies.

Petra, Jordan

My dad was an MP in the Service before I was born. He had casually mentioned serving in North Africa after the Korean War. I wasn’t paying attention. My dad is gone now, as is most of that side of the family. Plenty of hair and big Kennedy teeth, but not a longevity gene in sight. Years after his death, my cousin Scott, (also gone), sent me some pictures of my Dad during his tour of service. Apparently at one point in my father’s life he was sporting a unibrow and he and his unibrow got around. There are pictures of Dad with a unibrow in Hong Kong, Saudi Arabia, The Sinai, etc. etc. etc. and my favorite, Petra Jordan. Famous for its rock cut architecture and described as the ‘rose-red city half as old as time, it is the place I would most like to bring a sleeping bag and sleep under the stars.

Pleasure Island, Wakefield, Massachusetts

There used to be an amusement park on the north shore called Pleasure Island, the Disneyland of the Northeast. It closed in 1969, but for a short time when I was young my stepfather was the Sherriff at Pleasure Island. I know, I know, this sounds kinda ‘Exit to Eden’ skeevy. But Pleasure Island was good, clean, above the waist fun, and he really was the Sherriff with a cowboy outfit and a horse named Wildfire. During his gig at the amusement park he developed the innocent but disturbing habit of saying to timid children, ‘Don’t be afraid, your Sheriff loves you.'

A Vote for Richard Nixon, Danang, Vietnam

Brian Cabral and I went to school together, all the way from kindergarten through senior year. While we were in elementary school, Brian’s dad was overseas serving in the Vietnam War. Every week at show and tell we followed Mr. Cabral’s progress while contributing to the war effort by looking sadly at our MIA bracelets. While her husband was away, Mrs. Cabral drove the Proctor Elementary school bus to make ends meet. The morning after Richard Nixon’s landslide victory against McGovern, she wouldn’t let us on the bus until you promised that your parents had voted for Nixon. Unfortunately, everyone got on the bus.

Normandy, France

Our first trip to Europe. We took the girls to Paris and made a side trip to see Monet’s garden in Normandy.

The North River, Hanover, Massachusetts

I grew up along the North River. Very J.D. Huck Finn. Our lives revolved around the river and the abandoned boat we used as a club house. The boy/girl division of labor would go roughly like this: The guys would steal lumber, we would make-out with the boys, and we would all get high and build whatever we could make float.

Tientsin, China

My father in law Stanley spent part of WWII in Tientsin China, where he nightly dodged MP bullets, stealing coal for his girlfriend and her family.

Crane’s Beach, Ipswich, Massachusetts

Crane’s Beach is one of the most beautiful beaches ever. I grew up on the North Shore of Massachusetts and have spent a lot of time dodging the greenheads, baking away at Crane’s. When I was a kid my mother and stepfather would trailer the horses over in the winter to ride the beach, a very Julie Christie, Dr. Zhivago, wide screen panorama.

Venice

My favorite place on earth. I cried on the boat from the airport to our hotel because it was so beautiful.

Fort Bragg, North Carolina

My friend Christine’s son was an Army Ranger stationed at Fort Bragg on the onset of the Iraq War. Panicked, her mind became a literal CNN scroll, endlessly trumpeting catastrophic news.

Grafton, Vermont

We go with friends to a great little house on a creek in Grafton, Vermont for Thanksgiving. Every other year one couple sleeps in the bunk house. The last time it was my turn I woke up covered in lady bugs and I think, mold. I love it there.

Manhattan Beach, New York

My stepfather grew up poor in an Italian section of Brooklyn, (Bruculinu) New York. He used to say that they were so broke that he didn’t know celery stood up until he was in the Navy. Sick of poverty, at 14 he gets on the dog (boards a Greyhound bus,) and heads out to L.A. to be a star.

Huntington Beach, Los Angeles, California

Scram it’s the man………….My stepfather had barely got off the bus in L.A. when he was picked up by a Los Angles truant officer. After a call back to Brooklyn, the State of California threw his ass back on the dog to Bruculinu.

Brighton Beach, New York

At 16 it was time for my stepfather to get on the dog again, stardom awaited. This trip he was living in L.A. for a while before it was ‘Scram, it’s the Man’ time again. When the truant officer called home to Brooklyn his father told the State of California that they could keep him.

Near Okinawa, Pacific Theatre

World War II interrupts my stepfather’s search for stardom. He joins the Navy, becoming a gunner fighting in the Pacific Theatre. Near Okinawa his ship is attacked by a Kamikaze plane. The plane takes out the whole back of the ship, stepfather included. Things aren’t looking good. A medic sees that his bladder has been punctured, safety pins a note to his chest to that effect, and he is sent in a basket over to the medical ship. In my stepfather’s version of the story, he was combing his hair, prepared to charm the nurses when he was pulled out of the basket.

V.A. Hospital, Honolulu, Hawaii

This was the first V.A. Hospital for my stepfather. The doctors take a good look at his leg and tell him he is completely fucked. He ignores them. This is where a shitty childhood really comes into service. No crybaby pussies in that gene pool.

V.A. Hospital, San Diego, California

My stepfather would spend 2 years at this V.A. Hospital. His old friends from Los Angeles would save up their gas ration tickets to drive down from L.A. for a visit. Even though the prognosis is grim, his parents never make the trip from New York.  

Hermosa Beach, Los Angeles California

Back on his feet my stepfather was available to be a star. He’s been told he can sing, but what Italian from Brooklyn can’t? Before you can spell Sy Milano, he is headlining at Ciros, but still, he has bigger plans. In short shrift he signs with Warner Brothers as a contract player. After making a few movies he makes the mistake of going on a Bob Hope T.V. Special (I think Eddie Cantor too). Too bad he didn’t read the fine print of his contract with Warner Brothers, No T.V. They slap his television loving ass back on the dog to the Northeast.

Afganistan 2010

My daughter's old boyfriend Peter gave me this sand that a friend had brought back from his tour of duty in Afganistan.

Amira's travels, Lebanan

This is sand and seaglass that my Amira (who is half Lebanese) brought back from a summer trip to visit relatives in Lebanon. Amira has been bringing me back treasures from the four corners of the earth since she was a little muffin.

Beach by the Planetarium, Chicago, Illinois

A beach missive from Izzy on my 49th birthday, I miss her.

Kiev, Russia

Stanley’s father, Abraham (Abie) Rotman, escaped the horror of the pogrom, fleeing Kiev, ultimately making his way to Providence, Rhode Island. Abie arrived in Providence on the 4th of July to fireworks which he mistook for gunfire.

Winter Harbor, Maine

Isabella picked out the puppy with the white ribbon.

Oceanside Beach, San Diego, California

Just like Gidget.

Stretch of sand across from Seabrook Station, Hampton (I think), New Hampshire

The scenic vista across form the Nuclear Energy station. RIP Guy Chichester.

Good Harbor Beach, Gloucester, Massachusetts

Hands down my favorite beach.

Jody’s Dominican Divorce Sand, Playa Bonita, Dominican Republic

Nell Hannah nearly got strip searched bringing this sand through customs from the Dominican Republic to commemorate Jody’s Dominican Divorce.

Waikiki Beach, Hawaii

My husband Tim and I spent our honeymoon in Waikiki and Maui. We would love to go back.

Diamond Head, Waikiki, Hawaii

The view from our hotel room.

Sinai, Egypt

Dad and the unibrow in the Sinai Peninsula.

The Biltmore, Providence, Rhode Island (taken from the standing ashtray outside the front doors)

If you asked him, my father in law Stanley Rotman would tell you he came back from WWII relatively unscathed. His war stories would most likely involve women and seemingly trivial events. But I always thought the following story spoke volumes;

After the war, when Stanley was finally going to be back in Providence, safe and sound, he decided to give his family the wrong day for his arrival, making it one day later. He said he just wanted to go to the Biltmore Hotel in Providence, to sit anonymous and alone in that beautiful old hotel, smoke a cigarette, drink a cold martini and not speak to anyone for the whole evening.

Mr. Swietek’s Funeral, Rockledge Country Club, Hartford, Connecticut

My friend Sue and I met when she put together a kid’s play group in our old condo development in Weymouth. Isabella was one, Marina and Ali, two and newborn. We became fast friends and through the years have raised our girls together like family. Marina and Ali’s grandfather passed away in 2004, everyone was devastated at the loss. After the funeral we all went back to the Country Club, Mr. Swietek’s home away from home. The girls and I had been collecting sand for quite a few years and we thought it a fitting tribute to sneak onto the golf course and swipe some sand in memory of Mr. Swietek. R.I.P. Fred Swietek

Columbus Beach, Labbadee, Haiti

When Sue’s dad was very ill with esophageal cancer, the family, which is scattered between Maine, New York, and Melbourne, Florida, managed to take a number of family trips. This sand is from a Thanksgiving cruise that would be Mr. Marino’s last major trip.

Mr. Marino’s Gravesite, Melbourne, Florida

A couple years’ later Marina and Ali lost another grandfather to cancer. At the cemetery there was a myriad of sand and palm trees. When it was time to leave the girls and I made sure to scoop up some sand. R.I.P. Tom Marino

Millennium Park, Chicago, Illinois

Oh man, I love it. I can’t believe this is my daughter’s new back yard.

Lake Winnipesaukee, Meredith, New Hampshire

My mom and I used to live with my grandparents when I was young and considering they were finally at the age to be having a moment to themselves, they seemed to enjoy my childhood more than the three they had just survived. They doted on me and took me everywhere they went.